Thursday 18 March 2010

Getting back in control

I realise that, understandably, I probably haven't been as strict a parent as I need to be over the last 6 months. My kids have taken advantage of this and I need to get back to being the only boss in this house!

My 3 year old has lulled me into babying him to get attention. He can get partly dressed by himself but I've been doing it for speed, at nursery he is expected to sort out more of his own clothing. Sometimes I've spoon fed him a meal to get him to eat when he is perfectly capable of doing it himself. I think his toilet training issues are also just him getting me to have to do things for him. There is also the issue of him getting into my bed in the night leaving me with less sleep.

So I have to put my foot down and get him back to where he was for both our sakes.I have started returning him to his own bed when he appears in mine, this seems to be working as I've had more child free nights! The dressing thing may take longer as sometimes there isn't time to get him to do it... I know I need to allow more time with a 3 year old..

Toileting seems to be improving and I just need to stay on the ball to remind him to go. The potty is almost permanently in the front room but its better than puddles & piles of poo! He does seem to react well to stickers and positive praise. Let's hope we are on the home leg on this one.

He has been less aggressive and destructive but still finds it hard to share me with his sister or the telephone or any major task! I'm sure he will just grow out of this with plenty of quality time to make up for the rest!

As for my 6 year old she has definitely turned into a right bossy boots and doesn't like to listen to me. I have to really put my foot down to get my way and sometimes even then she goes behind my back and does it any way! One battleground is the TV in my bedroom which I regularly find her watching without permission. I keep hiding the power control but I am going to have to remove the TV as the only way to ensure she can't watch TV whenever she wants.

She thinks she can do lots of tasks which are actually beyond her. I have to strictly enforce the rules on which kitchen appliances she can use - coffee machine & toaster - everything else is forbidden. At other times she reverts to babyish behaviour and asks me to do simple tasks for her. The joys of 6 years of age and not sure whether to grow up fast or be babied!

She is very loving and brings me breakfast in bed most weekends! I am very proud of the fact she is doing brilliantly at school and won her poetry recital class at their Eistedfodd (got to watch the repeat tomorrow morning!). With her I just need to keep her focussed on things that she can do and enforce the rules on the things she shouldn't.

I have two gorgeous children and compared to many they are little angels. I just hope for all our sakes I can retake the upper hand!


  1. Oh dear! It must be difficult to always be strict with them... Still, at least you know what the issues are so you can start tackling them as soon as you feel able! x

  2. My eldest was 5 when me and her dad split, but when she turned 6 she was the same as your 6 yr old. I did get control back, some useful tools were learnt at my local Children's Centre and if you are interested in knowing more on that let me know. Now she is 7 and pushing boundaries again. It has mainly been this last week and i think its because she is feeding on my anxiety about returning to work next week. Mother hood ain't easy lol! xx

  3. If it was easy a man would do it ;-)
    waiting for place on a course down the centre...

  4. My niece is 7 and this sounds very similar, her mum is a single mum too. As we have just a little 19 month old at the mo, I'm yet to experience it, and I know it is all easier said than done!
    I think consistency really helps, if you say no to something you have to continually say no, there is no middle ground or room for negotiation!
    Good luck I know it's not easy!


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