Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Together we are stronger

The last 48 hours have shown me the strength of love & support I have from my friends and family. Other people that have been through similar situations have told me that this is the worst stage of a divorce when you are in a limbo between being married and being able to start again.

The support I am getting both off & online is helping me through the transition. Phone calls, e-mails, messages on FB & Twitter and real life hugs are all a great help. My kids give me so much love and tell me things such as:

you are the best mummy ever

they love snuggling up to me in bed or on the sofa and E is doing her best to help me as much as a 6 year old can. 

I do still have my concerns about them, E couldn't make her mind up whether she wanted to speak to her daddy on Sunday and chose eating tea over getting home in time. Then when I tried to set-up the Skype call she said rude things about her dad but was upset when she couldn't talk to him. The fact that the only way she has of direct contact with him is through Skype is very frustrating to a young child.

O has an interesting twist to much of his role play which maybe his way of dealing things. He was playing with ducks in the bath and told granny that the ducks were mummy, brother & sister. When asked were daddy duck was he said that the daddy had drowned. When he plays with his sister's dolls he insists that he is their mummy and not their daddy. At playgroup today he was creating family groups of animals - none of them had a daddy in. Even the farmer was the brother of the little boy figure and not the father.

I am hoping that the lady from the advice group can offer me constructive advice on how to get the kids through this. But until then I am going to adopt a new motto for the kids and I:

Together we are stronger

thanks to Josie at Sleep is for the Weak for this week's Writing Workshop prompt!


  1. The two years for me was the toughest too between being married and ready to start again dating.
    Staying busy and trying NEW things-to-do helped me learn to do more and helped increase my self esteem.
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  2. I have no startling insights for you but just wanted to say that i read you post and thought it was wonderfully honest and open. i hope you and they find some peace of heart soon.

  3. I don't know you, but I'm sending virtual hugs too.
    So damn hard when our children are miserable because of adult concerns that affect them.
    But it doesn't sound like your children are really miserable, just working things out. It will take time, but given the support you're offering them plus receiving from others I'm sure they'll come through just fine.

  4. That is an excellent motto, and it sounds like it is the absolute truth too. The three of you are going to be just fine, I'm sure, as it sounds like you have an amazing relationship.

    It must be so confusing for them. Hoping you all find a way through this difficult time soon xx

  5. There is a family support team near you that could perhaps support you and the children if you are worried about them.
    There is an award for you on my blog. XX

  6. It's so hard when they're so little isn't it? I split with my husband a year ago now and we've had our ups and downs and still will. I don't really know your circumstances, so it's hard for me to comment, but that motto is a good one and I feel the same.

    My youngest was 4 when we split and it's been hard for me to help her to understand at times but I'm just trying to make sure she knows she can talk about things. I try to be as honest as I can with her and we deal with each thing as it comes along. I'm sure you do the same.

    My eldest was 8 at the time and it was easier to talk things through with her. I also talked to her school who were very supportive. Some of the staff had had special training in helping kids deal with their parents separation and they were brilliant with her.

    I also picked up a couple of booklets from a local solicitors that were useful. The best one was one she could fill in herself. She has that somewhere so I'll ask her if she can find it so I can get the details for you if that will help.

    I still have the other and they advertise a website called There are a few tips there on helping your kids through it all.

    From the little bit I've read it sounds like you're doing all this anyway, but I just thought there might be other stuff in these booklets that might be useful. It's so hard to know where to turn isn't it?




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