Friday, 8 October 2010

Is the honeymoon over?

Since I came back from my enforced divorce trip down south my daughter has not been herself at all. She has:

  • been more bolshy, 
  • been attention seeking at school, 
  • been in trouble at school for hitting other children, 
  • has had to be dragged out from under my bed to go to school
  • has had major temper tantrums
  • told me she was lying about liking her new school she "hates it"
Her teacher has asked me to have a meeting about her to discuss the issue. This is more like she was behaving before we moved.

I think that me going away for a few days completely unsettled her and she also took to staying awake later making her tireder. It was also her dad's birthday on Friday and this made her more aware of missing him.

I have tried to get her to bed sooner and enforcing the end of reading to an earlier time. This did seem to have a minor impact at the beginning of the week. Then we had a late night last night caused by a need to take her little brother to casualty (luckily only a minor concussion needing no further treatment). Today she came home in spare clothes from school having had a little accident and had the screaming ad dabs when I got her in the car to go home.

We had a few words and she said she didn't like her new school as its "too big" and she isn't used to as many big children running around. Her old school had less than 70 pupils and this one has 150. It was one of the smallest local schools I could have chosen - probably supposed to send her to a nearer one of over 300 but thought this would be too much for her!

A mutual agreement was reached to get back to how we were to start with and her trying to be better. At bedtime we had another heart to heart and she said it's harder for children to lose/miss family than grown ups. She then said she hated her dad's girlfriend for making him move abroad. I pointed out that it wasn't just her decision. She is obviously finding it really hard to not see her dad, she hasn't seen him in person since January. With her birthday coming up it is understandable that she would miss him even more.

Just hoping that having cleared the air that I can help her get back to enjoying her new life up here and to be happy.


  1. Bless her, it's so tough for children. I really hope that she is able to settle soon and big hugs for you for dealing with it so well. It can't be easy. xx

  2. Poor little mite, they are so perceptive and it must be hard for her nad for you too. I hope things improve soon

  3. Poor little babe. It's so hard isn't it. I'm not sure how hold your little girl is but having gone through this (and still going through it) with Miss E who was 8 when her Daddy and I separated last year, and Miss M who had just turned 4, I really empathise.

    It sounds like you've made the best decision you can schoolwise for her and it will just take time for her to get used to it. With E I found a really useful booklet that helped her to talk about her feelings. It's by CAFCASS. The leaflets are here. You can download them or send for copies. I thought they were really good.


I love it when people leave a message