Monday, 18 October 2010

The YES jar - early days

After comparing notes on stroppy primary age girls with the lovely Cheryl at MommyPants I have decided to try and follow her paediatrician's suggestion of a Yes Jar for my 7 year old. She likes to do things her way and doesn't always like to do what I need her to do - not always good for mummy/daughter relations!

The Yes Jar is a simple concept:

  • when child is doing what you asked / exhibiting good behaviour a slip of paper with YES on it goes in the jar
  • when the child doesn't do what you asked / exhibits bad behaviour a slip of paper with NO on it goes in the jar, no other sanction given
  • when the child wants a treat - TV, computer time, naughty snack a slip of paper is picked from the jar. The more YES's in the jar the more likely they are to get their treat!

I explained this to my daughter and we agreed to start after her birthday. She seemed quite enthusiastic about the fact that I would have to let her have her small treats if a YES came out (think she had forgotten about the NO slips!)

Typically on day 1 several NO slips went in the jar due to non compliance and back chat. She immediately decided that the Yes Jar was a bad idea and she didn't want to do itany more! The first one to get pulled out was a NO and her minor paddy at this resulted in another NO going back in...

However when some YES slips went in and she got what she wanted (computer time with her Moshi Monster) she once again thought it was a good idea. The next time she got a NO slip out she shrugged and said "never mind" and this gentle reaction gained her another YES slip.

We've been running for less than a week but I'm hoping that the drip, drip effect of seeing how consistent good behaviour can earn more rewards will eventually out weigh her natural desire to do things her way. Then again it may not but I'll at least keep this running until Christmas.

If anyone else has anything that has worked on their 7-10 year old girls please comment!

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