If you’ve
met someone new and feel ready for things to move to the next level,
it might be time to think about introducing them to your children. As
with many situations which occur after divorce, introducing a new
partner to your kids brings with it a specific set of challenges to
prepare for.
Being
mindful of the following points could help you along the way.
Make sure you’re ready
Before
introducing your new love to your children, stop and take stock. Are
you sure this new relationship will be long term? Do you want this
person to be part of your family?
You may also need to discuss this with your partner first. Are they
ready to play an active part in your children’s lives?
Your
children may still be smarting from the break-up
and it’s important to give them time to get used to their parents
being apart. Introducing a new partner can raise all sorts of fears
and anxieties and, if it’s too soon, they’ll be less likely to
accept the new situation.
Make room for everyone
While your
children’s happiness should come first, if your new relationship is
serious, your partner will have a place in your life too. Talk to
them about how they feel about becoming part of your children’s
lives.
If they
have children of their own, they will also need time and support to
get used to the new situation. When families come together, it can be
a wonderful thing but there will always be a period of readjustment.
Be sure about your partner
Has
your partner shown enthusiasm about meeting your children? Do they
want children of their own or would they like to have them in their
life? When you first meet someone through friends or websites such as
eHarmony.co.uk,
the subject of kids may not come up straight away. However, as the
relationship gets more serious, it’s advisable to ensure that
you’re both on the same page.
Keep it simple
For the
first meeting, try to keep things casual. You can’t force anyone to
like anyone else, and it’s best to keep things relaxed.
An outing
to the park, or a group setting with friends will take the pressure
off and allow your new partner and your children to get to know each
other.
Try not to
show too much physical affection to your new partner during the first
meeting. Give your kids a chance to get used to them first.
Dating after a divorce
can be tricky but as things get more serious, there are plenty of
ways to make things comfortable for everyone. Make sure it’s love,
go slow and your children will see how happy your new partner has
made you and they’ll want to accept them too.
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