It has been interesting to see the different approaches my kids have had to an absent daddy. My 6 year old has obviously been hit hardest but now seems unconcerned. My 3 year old didn't really seem to miss his daddy and for some reason started referring to him as Daddy Ian which he invented himself.
Today we watched Nanny McPhee as the Friday movie and afterwards whilst son & I were in the bathroom we had this conversation:
O: Mummy Evageline is beautiful you could marry her.
Me: Would you like to have 2 mummies?
O: {giggles} no you can't have 2 mummies
Me: you can these days but most people have 1 mummy and 1 daddy
O: Gramps is my daddy now, Daddy Ian isn't my daddy any more
Me: Daddy will always be your daddy but Gramps will do the things daddies normally do with their sons
He doesn't often mention his dad but this was the first time he'd commented that my dad has taken his real dad's place as far as he is concerned. I am just so lucky that I now live so close to my parents so that the bond can get stronger.
My kids were 5 and 1 when the ex-wife and I split. I am still integral but I know that the split still really affected my daughter (I think that lad was to young to know any different).
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to have such great support.
I'm glad you are still part of your kids lives. Must be tough being the absent parent x
ReplyDeleteI am divorced and lucky that my ex and I still get on and respect eachother, i moved my daughter and I back in the spring to be closer to him so that my daughter could see both her parents every day. When parents split up it is difficult on the child but me and my ex always try our best to minimise the impact on our daughter. Children need both parents and this can sometimes be put aside in the emotions of seperation and divorce. I hope your ex will always do his best for the children and for them to realise that. :) x Spencer, so glad that your divorce has not affected your relationship with yours. x
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately their dad moved to the USA in january and only intermittently contacts them via skype. The last conversation was the end of July. For small kids this isn't enough.
ReplyDeleteJust had a few tears reading that. J's Dad isnt in his life at all. He hasnt seen him since he was 13 months old. At present it still upsets me more than it does him, he doesnt know any different at the moment but I know its only a matter of time.
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