#CountryKids Camping in Derbyshire

After last week's trial run this weekend we headed to Callow Top Holiday Park near Ashbourne for our first ever single parent camping weekend with Single With Kids. On arrival it looked surprisingly familiar and I realised that I had been there 8 years ago with my then husband, his eldest 3 and my daughter! This time we were in a group of about 30 families in a field on our own at the top of the site. We were the last ones to arrive after our 2.5 hour drive and just managed to get the tent up before the sun set:

My children very quickly made friends with the 6 and 7 year old boys in the nearest tents and played games whilst I rustled up a very late BBQ. Then we went to the communal area to toast marshmallows and get to know the other families:

Time for a change?

One of the big problems about being a lone parent with younger children is that finding work that fits into their requirements and needs isn't always easy. Having moved to Cumbria to be nearer family I discovered that most of the jobs advertised where completely unsuitable as in retail, tourism and care work they all want flexibility with evening and weekend work. If you haven't got access to childcare at these times then these jobs are a no go.

It just about leaves working in the education sector with mostly term time only hours. Most of these vacancies such as teaching assistants or school admin have an awful lot of applicants as there are many mums (mostly) seeking family friendly work. I was very lucky a couple of years ago to be successful in getting a job in a local secondary school even if its only 20 hours a week.

Whilst I get plenty of job satisfaction working with young people I am not earning enough to get us off needing top ups in the form of Housing Benefit etc. It does also worry me what will happen to me as my children get older if I am not earning a decent salary. Also I am not using much of the skills I spent 4 years acquiring at university...

In the past I had contemplated training as a teacher but this was a logisitical impossibility as the courses were all too far away to juggle children's childcare etc. However the school I work at is going to be offering Schools Direct training from this September. It will all be based in my local town or close by so its doable.

So I have bitten the bullet and spoken to the co-ordinator who told me I needed to get some in class experience at both keystage 1 and keystage 2 before I can apply. With a short time frame I spoke to my children's school. They have agreed that I can spend time in class from next week for rest of the half term! 

I will be 44 this October so still have time to start a new career (especially if government keep raising state pension age!). So a new year and change of direction? Obviously the course wouldn't start until September but I need to apply and hopefully get an interview. Then if successful I would need to apply for funding... apparently there is extra help for lone parents but its a big leap to leave a job and take this chance!

Watch this space...

This is how scared I feel!

A family business

Being a single mum its great for me to have sources of income that fit in around my family. Obviously blogging is a perfect one as my children enjoy reviewing products and days out so I can write about them! The other thing I do is act as an Independent Usborne Re-seller. I started up doing this back in 2008 as I just loved the books and wanted a way to both boost my income and get cheaper books!

I haven't done too much of it this year so far as my car is almost too small to carry both my stock and my children... However now the Christmas fair season is upon us my children and I have swung into team action again. We kicked off by having a stall at our church Advent fair this Saturday. A very early start for a Saturday had us ready to set-up at 8:30 and within less than an hour we had got our stall all ready:

As a reward for an early start my daughter nipped down to get us all a take away McDonald's breakfast... My son decided the best place to eat his was underneath our stall whilst playing on the iPad:

The good thing about doing a Christmas fair is there is plenty to distract the children and I just had to eek out their spending money and ensure regular feeding! They are very good at drumming up entries for Find the Duck. At the end of the day they were each rewarded with a book as wages:

Can you tell who chose which?

We have more events this week and I hope that they are as helpful at them as they were on Saturday:

Top Tips for a Single Parent Christmas Day from OneSpace.org.uk

Make Christmas Yours

1. First and foremost, DO NOT believe that everyone else in the world is enjoying a cosy family Christmas around a log fire. They aren’t.
2. This is the year to create new family traditions with your children. Get them to make or choose new decorations and then have fun decking the tree as a family.
3. Go out with the children and get holly and ivy and frame your photos or doorframes. Make the house look magical for your children.
4. On Christmas morning have a small treat just for you, next to your bed to wake up to.
5. Open the stockings all together snuggled on your bed.
6. Put on Christmas music and dance around the bedroom in your pyjamas just celebrating the day.
7. Treat yourself to your favourite breakfast – bacon & eggs, salmon & cream cheese bagels, pancakes
8. You might consider going to your local church for the morning service. Sing along to all your favourite hymns.
9. Consider inviting other single parent friends over for lunch. A family is what you make it.
10. Remember you’re not alone. If you need a bit of support or a boost on the day then chat to the other single mothers in the forums at onespace.org.uk, they’re a very friendly lot!

Can you add any more?

Tips from other single parents from our forums:

“I am going to eat chocolate on Christmas morning with my girls and then put the Mamma Mia CD on very loudly and dance around the Christmas tree”

“Every year I allow C to open one present Christmas Eve, we play board games too, all over the Christmas period. Even though there's just the two of us, I peel the vegs the night before, so I don't miss anything with him Christmas morning.”

“We camp out in the living room”

“What we like to do on Christmas Day is wear our favourite clothes that we don't usually wear - you know, the little black dress that you love but never get the chance to wear, or the really hideous top that is at the back of the wardrobe, but you can't bear to throw away because, well just because!!”

“Christmas Eve they get new pjs to open, we watch Xmas films have some nice treats to eat, leave carrots for rudolf we make 'Santa dust' To sprinkle before they go to bed its glitter, sugar whatever iv got it helps Santa find hos way to us, they each have a stocking they hang that at the end of their bed”

“each year we buy or make a new tree decoration to add to it” 

“Food shopping I cover by saving all my clubcard points from Tesco and Sainsbury and using them towards that cost”.

For more advice and support go to OneSpace.org.uk

iamtired.com

Sometimes you really know you have been overdoing things when you want to go to bed before your children! Its been an incredible couple of weeks but think I am approaching burn out..

We have enjoyed some fantastic days out as a family: Kendal Festival of Food, a trip to Manchester Museum of Science and Industry, walking more as a family and on my own in all weathers.  These have all been fabulous but they all take out a lot of energy. An almost full day out and about on Mother's Day (as part of our 5 miles that day) was fun but knackering too:

On top of that I am increasing my training runs for the Star Walk 10 k run which I am really enjoying but its stretching my endurance and stamina. Having that 30 minutes or so of being out on my own on the roads (albeit with friendly faces to wave at en route) is a lovely break in my day though!

This week my back up childcare plan and football class takers have been away so I have been doing everything with both children in tow. Its been rushing everywhere as the walking has reduced the gaps between events. 

Today I started a 3 day first aid course for work which is a full day instead of my usual half day. So we are all having to leave the house 15 minutes earlier than normal so that my children can be dropped off to be taken to school. 

Housework is being kept to a minimum due to lack of time and energy but of course its not being done by anyone else so I need to catch up soon! I am glad I did the charity walk but next time I need to do it when the rest of my life is a lot less manic... Right now I am only still up as I've only been able to out the washing machine on at about 8:30 so I have to wait for it to finish to hang it up to dry!

I am so looking forward to my Saturday lie in and I am not doing anything outside the home but I will have to catch up on all that housework.... Do you ever feel like you have taken on too much?

Exercise and the single parent

I was asked last week how I was finding time as a single mum to exercise and get in shape whilst bringing up 2 children. It's certainly a juggling act and nowhere as easy as the days when I was single and child-free. Back then I could easily get to a weekly exercise class and if a mate wanted me to make up the numbers for a badminton game I could just go. I wasn't all that fit or anything but I was exercising every week.

Then baby number one came along. Suddenly if I wanted to do anything someone else had to mind the baby. My then husband was never home in time from work for me to get to an evening exercise class. Any time we went swimming I was pushing her around in a baby float seat and not really swimming at all. Not surprisingly I gained quite a bit of weight before I had baby number 2.

Life then got extra complicated as there were 2 little ones to entertain or to get someone else to take of. Exercise was limited to running around in the park or long walks. Then I became a single parent and had even less free time! For a short while I managed to get to a special aerobics class for mums at our local soft play centre run by the health authority. I could workout and my son could play safely watched by a member of staff.

Once I moved up to nearer my parents things have got easier for 2 reasons. Firstly my parents are willing to baby sit once a week so that I can get to my Rosemary Conley class. At first this was during the day whilst my my dad entertained my pre-schooler and now its an evening class as I work every afternoon. Its a nightmare when they are away as I have to miss my workout! The second reason is that we can often get out on walks, bike rides and swims as a foursome or fivesome. This means that we get a better chance of getting some decent exercise ourselves whilst the children are safe and having fun too.

Now I'm working every afternoon I am having to squeeze in exercise around the times that my children are at school and I'm not working. I have tried using the Wii or a DVD after they have gone to bed but this results in a very late night! Though its been ages since I did a Wii Just Dance workout with the children.. So on a couple of days a week in the morning I am fitting in either a run or a salsa class. Of course the other things that need doing in this free time such as housework end up taking a back seat...

At the weekend I am trying to find ways of exercising with the children. As yet they aren't both competent enough swimmers for me to go to the pool with both of them and leave them to their own devices whilst I do some lengths. If I get there with my daughter on her own then I can do a few. So I need to find things we can do together. This is why I invested in a cheap adult scooter so we can all be out together. I am on a pretty similar learning level to my son though my daughter is much faster than the pair of us!

Then there is my new running regime which needs 3 runs a week with gaps for breaks. The only way I can fit this in to take my children out with for 30 minutes on a Saturday or a Sunday... So today I got them on their scooters and we headed towards town. We did have a few snags along the way. Firstly my daughter scoots much faster than her little brother and the gap between them got wider and wider. I had to keep going back on the route to let him catch up with me. Then she went so far ahead she took a wrong turning and I had to chase after her to get her back to the right place. Turned out she had as usual ignored my instructions about using the loo before leaving home so we had to find a route that included a usable toilet (couldn't let her do a Paula Radcliffe!). So it was a mixed bag as a workout. Looks like I need to find somewhere that I can run around in circles whilst the children are safely contained in a space such as a park.

If anyone has tips of how to fit in exercise to family life please share with me!

The Dilemma of the Single Working Parent

I was very relieved earlier this to get a term time only part time job. It was great no longer being almost fully reliant on the state. Not receiving maintenance from my ex for the children had meant that we had very little money. The income from my blog was negligible as its mostly in form of review items and days out. I also hadn't reestablished my Usborne book business after moving north.

The job is only 20 hours a week and even though I have to put my children in after school club it is well worth doing both financially and mentally! It left me a couple of hours each morning to get all the chores done and carry on blogging.

Back in September I was offered extra work at another school on a temporary basis to cover staff absence. This seemed like a great idea as it would mean more money. It did mean that I lost 3 mornings in which everything else got done.

Now I'm not sure it's a good thing to be doing. It doesn't really equate to more much more money as of course I'm quite rightly entitled to smaller benefit payments. Unfortunately the way they work these out is confusing and I don't really know what's happening with them. Because my payments from the extra work vary my benefit is different every month and I have to keep visiting the benefits office to prove every change!

The rest of my life seems to be always on the rush. Things aren't getting done and I know that right now my kids need more time with me rather than me getting stressed and being busy. Because the difference in pay isn't really enough to make a huge difference to our lives I am debating axing the extra work. I don't want to be a burden to tax payers but something is going to give if I carry on this way and its probably my sanity!

With my children being my responsibility 7 days a week I do have to put them first.

Signed on...

Well having given up my job as of Friday I had an appointment to "sign on" today. Needed to make sure I got all the benefits I was entitled to as quickly as possible. It took me ages to fill out the forms last week (do they deliberately make them hard?) and I went along the good old Job Centre at Heron House in Hastings today...


All the tales about it being nicknamed Heroin House made me glad I was not with my kids. Though one inside it wasn't quite as scary with computer job search booths and lots of open plan desks. Last time I went near a Job Centre (15 years ago) the staff were all behind glass screens! I did have to wait to be escorted to the correct area and the loo needed a card swipe from the Customer Services Assistant...


After a short wait on a comfy sofa I got taken for my interview which was basically a review of the form I'd filled out. Turns out that the guy on the phone should have told me to apply for Income Support not Job Seekers as my kids are both under 7... Aargh that was an evening wasted.. Any way the nice lady gets the right form and even she struggled to help me fill it out!! 


Luckily someone from Lone Parent Support was available so I then got sent upstairs. Thank goodness for taking a big book to read as I had to wait about 20 minutes on the next comfy sofa... interestingly I was reading the advisors favourite book of all time (Ken Follett - Pillars of Time)...


She was a lovely understanding lady and made me feel like I was doing the right thing and offered advice on housing benefit etc. A quick call to the Tax Credits people got those adjusted so I now know what my budget will have to be based on. I shouldn't have to go back for 6 months and just need to inform them if I earn any money. Apparently best to earn just under threshold to keep claim open. And I don't have to actively seek work until O is 7 (more than 3.5 years!) - sure I will want to do something before then!!


Let's hope it all goes smoothly and I get the accounts sorted for council tax benefit too!