Having received counseling for depression this month I am now trying to stop seeing things as positive & negative and more in terms of more or less helpful. The man I spoke to was quite surprised I was even remotely positive having experienced all 5 of the worst stresses in life in less than 12 months!
I am in a much better frame of mind now than I was just after the death of my grandfather and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be getting closer. In less than a month I will be moving closer to my family and the support they can offer. This is definitely one of the most helpful things I can do for myself and the kids. The rental agreement is signed and the moving van has been paid for.
Yes I still have a lot of work to do before I can move but I am no longer panicking about it. Surplus items are slowly being sold off or given away and the amount that I have to take with me is reducing.
The Incredible Years parenting course I am attending is providing me with tools I need to get my kids back on track after the upheavals they have suffered. They seem mostly happy about the move as they have seen their new home and schools. My daughter has tried on her new uniform and is looking forward to starting in September, she also has a place in Beavers in the same village. I just got her school report and she is at the expected level or ahead in all subjects. There are behaviour and attitude issues but these are improving.
My son has had his place in nursery confirmed. He will be eased in slowly so he can get used to it all. Unfortunately if nothing changes he will be in for afternoons only. This does makes the school runs easier as he will finish 30 minutes after his sister and there is no overlap in the morning. It does mean I won't get a whole day to myself unless my parents step in. I was hoping that he could be in for 2 whole and 1 half days a week to help him get prepared for "big" school in 2011.
Having my son away for 10 days gave me a chance to catch up on some sleep even though I didn't get as much done for the move as I hoped! I did enjoy not having the mad rush around of double school runs but filled up the "free" time with helping out other people or catching up on paperwork / meetings... My daughter loved having me to herself and we packed a lot of girlie time in (despite me giving myself food poisoning!!)
Last night's bedtime shenanigins did wear me out but I've really enjoyed spending time today with my son after his holiday. He has given me lots of cuddles and kisses and it's been lovely. Big sister will have to get used to sharing me again and hopefully if she catches up on her sleep she will be back to her cheerful self...
So let's hope I am now swimming with the tide and no longer going against it and feeling like I am drowning.