Attitude or Emotion?

My 6 year old daughter's behaviour is driving me round the twist even more than normal since her brother came back from his holiday away. She is doing lots of things that are either her just going through a phase or as a result of what she is going through. It is very hard to tell which and therefore how to deal with them!


Her attitude is more 13 than 6 with her not listening to what I say, stropping about things and doing things her way. Lying is a more regular occurrence - sometimes for the right reasons but more often to try and get out of trouble. She has cut her hair and her clothes - including a brand new top. From somewhere she has picked up spitting in mine or her brother's face when not getting her way.


Emotionally its like a roller coaster and with her being a good actress its not always possible to tell if its real or false. When her dad first left she was very clingy but this had eased off. It is now back in force. One day this week I said goodbye at school before assembly but not afterwards (well I'd already done it once!). Apparently once she realised I'd gone she hid underneath a table and cried most of the morning. When I came back at lunch she was right as rain with no sign of anything having happened.


Whenever there is a suitable replacement "father figure" around she engages in very physical play with them. This is true even when she doesn't know them very well and I ask her to stop! There are plenty of bemused men in my social circle at the moment luckily many are dads themselves and can cope but I need to get her to moderate this.


I am not sure how much of this will stop once the stress of moving is done and dusted and how much will carry on in the longer term. I don't want her getting a reputation at her new school as her current one know what a delightful child she is most of the time. All I can do is tell her I love her and praise the positive lovely side and try and ignore the minority bad.