Kindness of a stranger

One of Josie's Writing Workshop prompts this week is to blog about a random act of kindness that we have either received or given and this brought back memories for me...


It was mid September last year and just over a month since my husband had left home for his new girlfriend. Things were so new I was trying to carry on as normal. 


I had made a booking for a book stall at a dog show weekend at the Hop Farm months before and couldn't afford to lose the money. So for 2 days on the trot I had to get both my kids up at 6 AM to drive to the venue and set-up. At least on the second day my mate Sarah was helping out. The days were very long and the profit was not very high so I was feeling very down. At least the kids had had fun seeing all the dogs and looking around but it really hadn't been worth the effort. 


As it was fairly late in the day that we finished each day we had tea at the Little Chef on the way home. On the second night the manager remembered us and is it was very quiet stopped for a chat. I told him what a crap weekend I'd had and he told me that his restaurant was in danger of closure as the company was only leasing the land. 


The kids and I ate our dinner and the manager came back over. He told us that a man had paid for our dinner as he overheard the conversation. I nearly burst into tears. The manager said he had never had anyone do that before! This is something that happens in stories and not to real people...

Not waving but drowning...

This post is inspired by Josie at Sleep is for the Weak's Writing Workshop this week.

After some previously stressy posts such as worrying about my kids and having to deal with vicious comments from other people last week I thought I was turning the corner on this divorce and single motherhood thing...

I was feeling a lot bouncier and positive and getting a decent night's sleep. Things were moving in the right direction. The big downsize mission was moving on nicely with 8 bags of clothes donated to charity and at least 1 bin load of useless stuff had been removed. My friend Suzanne is a life saver and comes round once a week to do a little de-clutter mission. So all starting to look better and I was feeling better...

... then came last weekend. It started going downhill with the table top sale from hell. I had my kids "helping" to set-up. This involved E deciding how everything should be laid out and O deciding that several toys needed rescuing or playing with. Then it transpired that O had a poorly bottom and needed several emergency clothes changes. Things would have been fine if I'd actually sold enough to cover the cost of the table.. I was so stressed by it all I thought I'd have a nice relaxing meal in Sainsbury's to recover.... wrong... my kids misbehaved getting me all those looks from the older generation that signal disapproval - well they were tired and despite the snacks I'd taken they were hungry. Turns out that someone spotted me that only vaguely knows me and she felt sorry for me!

Sunday started off well with nice trip for E to shoot her longbow at Bodiam Castle with the Medieval Siege Society . This was her first competition and with only 3 in her class she was guaranteed a prize. Unfortunately I mistakenly told her they won Easter Eggs. Despite her longbow breaking in round 3 she did really well with a borrowed bow and deserved to win a prize even if only 3rd. By then I'd realised Easter Eggs were raffle prizes not archery prizes so bought tickets. As the prizes were won E got closer and closer to the table until there was only 1 egg left to win.... when another child won she burst into tears and I had to promise to buy her one on the way home. As the kids were tired after full day out I thought a quick pit-stop in the NT cafe would be a good idea - how wrong could I be... There was a major screaming tantrum from E over sharing a cake with little brother (there was only a little choice left in the cafe). They screamed at each other being bloody idiots and how much E hated O. I apologised to the nearest table having once again picked up nasty looks from around the cafe. Turns out they were relieved it wasn't their kids who had had to be removed from the gift shop for tantrums!

Things have been more relaxed since the weekend but the fact that the kids have both taken to getting in my bed in the night again - especially O - means I'm lacking a good night's sleep again. I know that tiredness doesn't help me get through things feeling positive so I hope I can get O to stay in bed. O has also been quite vicious towards his sister and she is losing a lot of hair to his pulling and biting.

The downer of failing to sell the kid's Happyland on eBay hasn't helped either. I did my market research but have had to try again. I just a) want less stuff in the house b) want the kids to have some money saved for when they need things in future and I can't afford it.

Hopefully this is all just a temporary set-back and by next week I'll be in a better frame of mind.

Together we are stronger

The last 48 hours have shown me the strength of love & support I have from my friends and family. Other people that have been through similar situations have told me that this is the worst stage of a divorce when you are in a limbo between being married and being able to start again.


The support I am getting both off & online is helping me through the transition. Phone calls, e-mails, messages on FB & Twitter and real life hugs are all a great help. My kids give me so much love and tell me things such as:

you are the best mummy ever

they love snuggling up to me in bed or on the sofa and E is doing her best to help me as much as a 6 year old can. 

I do still have my concerns about them, E couldn't make her mind up whether she wanted to speak to her daddy on Sunday and chose eating tea over getting home in time. Then when I tried to set-up the Skype call she said rude things about her dad but was upset when she couldn't talk to him. The fact that the only way she has of direct contact with him is through Skype is very frustrating to a young child.

O has an interesting twist to much of his role play which maybe his way of dealing things. He was playing with ducks in the bath and told granny that the ducks were mummy, brother & sister. When asked were daddy duck was he said that the daddy had drowned. When he plays with his sister's dolls he insists that he is their mummy and not their daddy. At playgroup today he was creating family groups of animals - none of them had a daddy in. Even the farmer was the brother of the little boy figure and not the father.

I am hoping that the lady from the advice group can offer me constructive advice on how to get the kids through this. But until then I am going to adopt a new motto for the kids and I:

Together we are stronger

thanks to Josie at Sleep is for the Weak for this week's Writing Workshop prompt!