Friday, 28 May 2010

Guest Post Day 2: Stepping up to the plate

Thanks Erica for another Guest Post day and a chance to meet new bloggers and have new input on our own blogs. This has been written by the lovely Heather at Young & Younger and if you pop over there my post should be on her blog!

When I’m on my own with the babies during the day I often imagine what life would be like as a single mum, and two emotions run through me. The first is a huge respect and admiration for those that do it, and the second is a chilling terror that I might find myself in that position. I’m spoilt, you see. My other half is not only very hands on with the babies, but also shoulders a lot of the stuff that I either don’t want to, or am not confident enough to do.

Imagining being a single parent has made me take a long hard look at myself, and recognise that I need to face some of my fears and become more independent and self-sufficient. When my dad’s away, my mum doesn’t even know how to set the alarm on the bedside clock, so she has to set a kitchen timer to count down the hours until she needs to wake up. I don’t want this to be me.

If I have a problem with the computer, the wireless connection, or most things electrical in the house I leave them to Young Daddy to sort out. He shows me how to do it myself, but I never bother to concentrate because I just take it for granted that he’ll be there the next time to fix it for me.

I have a phone phobia. I hate calling people. Not friends - I can speak on the phone for hours to friends, but I don’t like calling a stranger to book something, or query anything. I’ve always been like that. I have to really psych myself up to dial the number. So now I just let Young Daddy do it. I don’t even try anymore.

The supermarket shop. I hate the supermarket. There’s something about the lack of natural light and the aisles filled with people that makes me short of breath and panicky. So I don’t go. I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t been on my own once since the babies arrived nearly nine months ago. I keep meaning to take the twins and brave it, but I always come up with an excuse.

I let Young Daddy look after all of the bills, which are all in his name. When someone asks me who my electricity provider is I haven’t got a clue. How much does our heating cost each month?  No idea. When is our mortgage up for renewal? Couldn’t tell you. I should know these things, shouldn’t I? It’s part of being an adult, being a grown-up.

I’m a mum now, and I should start behaving like someone I would like my babies to become. I want my little ones to be confident, capable people. So I should act like one myself. Goodbye ‘can’t do’ attitude and hello new me…


  1. I see so many similarities with me. I hate phoning anyone even freinds sometimes. I used to do it every day at work and I do wonder where my confidence has gone

  2. I hate the phone too. I suspect that lots of people who feel very comfortable online do. Good on you for grasping the nettle. I've found that things never turn out to be as bad as you imagine.

  3. Yes, I too am one who hates picking up the phone - which is ironic as I work in telecoms. I think modern technology has helped and hindered this one for me. With the internet, e-mail, instant messaging, even Twitter you can get away with not speaking to people yet still communicating with them.

    Thankfully my husband is a bit more practical - like you, I really don't know how I would cope as a single parent, I am so in awe of them. I suppose there comes a point where you would just have to do it though, as you would not have a choice?

  4. I bet you are not the only one that feels this way! I used to be independent when I had my bachelor flat, then I got married and husband took over all bills leaving me to do food, clothes etc

    Just make sure your name is on all the utility bills as if you need to speak to them they won't talk to you if its Just YoungDaddy on there!

    Thanks for lovely post on my blog x


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